Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Druzhba ... beyond the grave!

Druzhba (=a friendship) a word that you might hear quite often in Azerbaijan... Druzhba is considered to be a very strong here, all the men are proud of the bond that is created among them. Girls cannot really understand that. If you talk to Azeri men they are extremely proud to have such true friendship with so many male friends. They can anytime anyplace rely on any of their friends. The men walk together during evenings, drink tea, discuss imporant issues, play nardi (backgammon), you see and hear about the ties everywhere...

I had several talks on this issue and so many guys were so extremely excited when talking about it and I thought... wow... this is something... Well, I am afraid nothing is as it seems. The longer I am here, the more I am sure of it.

Men here like to talk a lot, like to talk a lot about things they did, about what others said about them, about what they did (although they did not do it), about how many true friends they have etc. At the end you find out the reality is much more sad. If I did not have few quite good male friends I would never think the way I do now, cause the everyday male acquitances keep on stuffing me with all the "real stuff" which proves to be nonsense as soon as I mention it somewhere further.

It seems to me that all the men listed in their mobile phones could be claimed to be the best friends. When you see the men encounter on the street they will either shake their hands (those are friends or acquitances) or they will kiss on cheeks (those are considered closer friends). They drop few words then leave and it is hard to know what goes through their had as many times walking with one of the man I would hear some gossips about the person we just met (although they just planted two kisses on his cheek!). Azeris are hot blooded, everything they do they seem to be doing wholeheartedly, love in one moment and hate in another. They will start to fight in a street out of any reason that the tradition might bring. Many times they promise things... but with the promise it stays (skutek utek). Sometimes I wonder how close they can become if their "given word" does not really mean anything. They do so many things just becuase this is HOW it should be, the honesty and openess seems to be missing!!

It is extremely hard to describe the feelings I have and I am afraid I did not manage to describe it too well :o(. But I am quite sure of it though I would sincerely like to be wrong about it ...

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4 Comments:

Blogger imelda said...

so think twice if you wanna develop something serious with any Azerii guys:-)"twink twink"".

9:52 AM, September 15, 2005  
Blogger Mart'a said...

hahahah, I will :o))), I promise. So far though noone offered me a badminton date, so I guess it is easy to resist them :P.

12:16 PM, September 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Marta:
I think you summed up a good portion of the male species very well - not just Azeris! Of course, there are also a few smart, sensitive types out there, too ;-) Enjoying the blog...
best,
Darrell

8:56 PM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger Mart'a said...

smart and sensitive... ;o)) I agree there are few of those left... but they are very rare, almost extinct. ;o))

6:57 AM, September 29, 2005  

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